Thursday, August 24, 2006 // 9:54 PM
it's for the 18th august 2006..both of them are the dearest to me. one, a lady who's the most important person in my life. went through all the full 10 months of pregnancy and endured through all hardships jus to give birth to me. a blessed child. she worked hard to earn those money n give me the best she could give n the all that i wanted. struggled through these 16 yrs of her life to suffer under all my intolerable behaviour. another a man. whom i've cherished and loved alot since the day i arrived into this world. he's always there for me when i needed one to rant on. to cry on. to joke. he's my dearest khaki. C= he's always on my side.. to stand on my side even if it meant going against HER wishes n decisions and getting into quarrels with her. one gave me financial love. the other emotional love. i often wondered is it a wrong decision GOD made to send me to this world. a wrong decision for this couple to try for a baby some 16 years ago.. thinking through for many years, i realised that it is a wrong choice they've made. out of the 5 quarrels they had, at least abt 3 of them is because of me. their daughter. btrice. don't ask me why i tink in such a way. it jus came naturally to me that i'm the cause of all these quarrels n arguments they had. maybe i'm jus a wayward child or rather a depraved devil that is destinated to live thier lives with them like tat.ppl are struggling hard on their exams. what is btrice doing? she's trying to control her emotions, (they're killing her) pushing her to the end of the world. her problems. everything. i always say. my problems come, got settled and a new ones comes again in no time. what i'll conclude is this world is like that it's just a world full of problems to let you settle. it's exactly what human beings do all day.how shld btrice overcome all these? not everything is told here.. things are not as simple as it seems here. my closer ones don't even noe. i reali don't noe how to pour it to them.. i apologise.