part 3.. darlin meiyi wana snatch awae darlin min's loli!!! bad girl.. haa~

the 3 lovable darlin bitches tat i love and adore... <3

all these pix are all sent to mie aftr duno how mani damn bloody long wks ltr.. haa.. all were taken either on the 130506 or 140506... haa.. dotdot.. enjoy all the pix... hee.. hmmm.. so tired now... no mood blog.. maybe ltr den cum blog.. hee.. -0-

mua lovable bitches.. cute and pretty rite!!!!! grab dem.. although abit siao siao.. no worries.. nobody wan dem.. BTRICE wans dem...!!~

awww.. so sweet.. heavenly... <3

1... 2... 3.. sae cheese!!! ok.. gud nice shot!!!

no comments .. we're jus too bored...

part1... can't u see mi and darlin min jus love lolis' so much... don't ever try grab dem!!!!

we jus love our reflections so much.~

LOL~

part 2....see these lovable darlin meiyi wana snatch mua loli!! help!! she jus dun wana listen to my instructions...

this is wad yao guang, mi and jian sheng did wid the leftover sauces.. min and yi onli watched and laugh!! LOL>>>

it's been daes since i came bac here to blog.. firstly wasn't in any mood.. life those daes was in a whirlpool fer mi.. things not going the way i want them to.. problems kip cuming up even when the other is not even solved.. and the probs jus kip getting bigger and bigger... during that period of tym.. i veri much wanted to come bac blogging and vent out all tat i wanted to sae and how i felt.. but i thought over.. i don't want ppl to pity mi and make myself lik a damn pathetic soul.. i rmb tis as ting~ said tis to mi... reading my blog at tyms make ppl feel lik i nid lots of sympathy... i'm here to tell everyone here who reads my blog... i dunch nid no freaking sympathy frm anyone.. i jus nid someone who can be there fer mi.. who is willing to understand mi.. who will be willing to listen to mi pour my sorrows.. all these are some things i nid frm a true fren..

the recent prob tat i went through was a prob tat i've nvr tot i'd hav.. it's actually abt frenship.. i've alwaes tot myself as a veri good fren.. a fren. a sis who can understand and be there fer the person.. i've nvr realised how terrible i've been until she told mi all tat.. we cried tat nite infront of the comp.. we talked through msn.. we shot off everything we tot of.. not worrying abt hurting each other's feelings.. tat moment everything jus felt lik the world crashed upon mi.. onli towards mi but the other were all alrite.. yes.. it may seem veri dramatic but still it's jus how i felt.. i really felt veri terrible.. then again.. NOW.. everything btw her and mi.. we're over it alrdy and we're back to the normal us. we're still the best sisters tat we have ever been.. the whole quarrel made us realise that we both each had our bad points and we nid to compromise wit each other.. tis also made mi sort out my problems.. i used to have many many probs even before this but aftr tis happpened i've learnt more abt myself through others.. understand more abt her through tis.. learnt abt life... how ppl react in life.. how this and how tat... yea~

life this few daes are short but it seems like so many lessons came upon mi tis daes.. i've absorbed alot.. learnt alot... btw.. i flunked my mye.. sucks.. dare not sae i've put in totally full blast of my concentration and stuff but still i tink i tried.. i pray hard and reali do pray tat i'll do well fer my o's.. i dun wana regret.. i've to believe in myself and tell myself tat i can do it.. i've no confidence in myself fer my studies but fer others.. i seem to hav so much confidence.. why ar?? omg!!! i'm wierd... haven't have had enough rest these daes.. have been dreaming.. having nightmares and all... i can't get enough rest.. no proper slip without any disturbance.. mommi and daddi hav been worrying abt my health alrdy.. their lil girl hav been in the pink of health frm young and now she's getting sick so easily.. nvm.. ill be back.. learning to be strong.. and learning to settle my probs myself.. the recent one.. i've told no one.. totally nobody.. onli myself and her.. the 2 main parties.. my other sis who used to hear my pour.. nah! nvr told dem... =) yg told mie i've grown alil.. at least making myself live beta... i love yg!! >as a fren<>

btrice is almost back... ALMOST!!!!... catch her when u see the old btrice back k??? haaa...


i've failed veri much as a sis.. as a fren.. i've done things to make her suffer.. to make her live her life lik tat.. i made all these happen.. all these shit tat came up to her life happen.. i tot all i did will help her become a betta person.. a beta fren.. a beta everything.. but seems lik it isn't and i've been making it even worst.. i'm the worst bitch.. a terrible fren.. all i did caused her to suffer.. caused misery in her life. cox her to lose trust in everything.. in her life.. in her everything... she nids someone but she chooses herself now.. cox of mi.. i did tis to make her suffer... suffer so much... reali regret doing all these to her.. din expect all these whld happen.. i feel terrible now.. i'll not seek help frm ppl ever again.. till the dae tat i'll blast cox i can't take it den i'll blast.. or maybe till tis matter is totally over and we're back as usual again.. den maybe will i be beta.. 250506.. tis dae let mie noe mani things.. learnt mani things.. learnt abt life.. her life.. my life.. abt mi.. abt her.. abt all these tat i din noe... i jus hate myself now.. i may be lifeless now.. like a zombie.. but tmr i'll be laughing lik normal.. but things inside mi are diff. veri veri diff... i hate all these... but i caused all these thus i've nothing to sae.. i brought it upon myself... all of it... gonna regret it all my life.. tis is my deepest regret so far.... it will and it shall always be..

btrice lives a much miserable life now.. happie rite? fer all thoes who hates mie.. u've got ur wish now...

i hate my freaking hair now!!!!! it sucks.. looks so damn short and ugly.. i feel so ugly now!! reali ... hates* regretted stepping into exquizit... doubt i will even step in to get my hair cut again... the most get onli my fringe cut there... omg!!! i hate it.... no no no.. can i reverse time??? i wana take back the words on waning to cut my hair!!!!! i hate tis.. feel so so so damn ugly.... i'm sad...

yst saw wan sheng.. my third boo... todae saw chris.. my sec boo... so am i suppose to see my 4th boo tmr??? it all goes in a row.... in a wk... i can't take tis... i'm not prepared to face all this coincidence.... when i see them the memorys are coming bac again... when they appear... flashbacks come back... misery also comes... i dun wan tis... if all these happens all my efforts on forgetting dem and kipping all the memorys aside will be a total waste of tym... i feelll... totally terrible... esp if i mit yew on somewhr suddenly, i'll suffer more... cox i'm still on the process of wanting to forget abt our relationship, forget abt the past.. so if i were to see him now, i'll fall again.. definitely.. fer sure.. i've not even succeeded in forgeting him.. and here i am.. seeing him in my life again.. how am i to continue with my plan of wanting to forget him... i feel so so so lost... confused.. i can't possibly put up more fake fronts and sae tat i'm fine and i'm happie... i can't... i can't face myself.. and i can't face my close ones.. esp. fang- she noes it all... i can't lie to her abt my feelings... all thesee ppl who walked outta my life are coming back... coming back.. wad am i suppose to do?? how shld i react...??

i hate my hair.... all these ppl who walked outta my life.. can u pls tell mie wad u wan frm mi now???


i'm in a pretty good mood todae.. my dae was kept in a pretty fun and nice mood.. haa.. firstly.. was a lil of a spoiler cox i was late fer sch.. wanted to hop on a cab to go sch.. but the timing was freaking-ly bad.. couldn't get a cab.. it was all on call.. freak.. why all boon lay ppl all call cab.. leave mi with none.. sian~ damn.. den go sch.. fcuk.. nid to take the freaking temp.. den the tweety bird.. -loh ai- and mr loh.. - om-wanted to take our pix.. i shook off the om.. but the darn principle told mie to stay and act lik taking the temp den bo bian lo.. fcuk.. i turned another direction.. side face him.. stupid bird... darn!!! den go back class.. den do retest.. chi fer 5 periods.. fcuk gonna be lik tat fer 4 daes... stupid.. haiyo... sian.. MT o's paper coming le.. so sian.. rush!!! wah.. denn aiyo.. duno la.. haa.. den aftr sch.. go find meiyi .. den aftr tat we go arena.. go der find jason they all.. go der plae pooll.. wah.. abt 3 hrs + abt 9 plus.. erm.. no ex den timah.. timah cheaper.. aircon damn freaking cold somemore.. haa.. omg~ den so coincidental.. saw wan sheng der.. haa.. din talk.. when he came in den i jus look den stunn.. dhen he smile.. den i smile lo.. omg~ why ar.. kip seeing all those ppl who walked outta my life back in front of mi again.. i duno how to react.. is tis all good or is it not?? shld i face den with my head up.. or shld i not accept reality tat they are back again?? leave it as if they nvr exsisted?? how shld it be...??

btrice is seeing ppl who walked outta her life back again right in front of her...



just burst out crying yst nite.. din understand why i did so too... jus i just can't kip bottling up feelings any further..i've always been telling myself. tat yes i'm fine.. but the true real reason... it's still a question mark.. i dunch even noe wad is wrong with mie.. i wan the old btrice back.. i'm veri veri determined.. but how do i start?? tats the prob with mie now.. i dunch noe... so how?? i duno.. daniel said tis to mie.. -u hav a prob. settle it.. dun jus leave it der.. it wun settle by itself..- i agree but the thing is i duno how to start.. fang said.. it's not the prob.. it's not the reasons.. it's not the process.. it's overall the conclusion...- the main thing is the decision and the answer.. i've grown.. frm a lil girl.. with innocent and simple thinkings.. to a girl now.. with more complex thinkings.. she's grown.. all these stages of growing has made her tink more.. seen more.. though caused her misery.. sadness.. setbacks.. stilll she wants to go back to the past.. like how she was.. tat's wad she asks fer now.. she onli wants to learn how to bring back herself... onli den when she noes how to do it den she can proceed and accomplish her task.. to bring back herself.. the old btrice..

teach her how to do it and u'll see her change... fer the better.. the happier...


i wana live a better life~ tats my resolution fer the rest of the year.. i realised i've been making myself living in too much misery.. make myself seem so damn pathetic.. i'm not pathetic k.. i'm normal.. usual... happie with myself.. tats mi now.. i'm gonna be happie.. make all the worries and sadness turn and change to become happiness... i must make this happen.. if not i'll be so damn pathetic.. no.. i' m nvr lik tat.. i believe i will nvr go anywhere beta if i dun do tis to myself..

i feel tat.. i reali willing to let go of -him- totally already.. to -her- back to the fact tat they relai suit each other.. one a playboy the other a playgirl.. not too bad.. i realised tat i would cry tat tym was relai due to the fact that i can't take it fer a fren to do such a thing to mie.. forget it.. i'm over with it.. not gonna bother.. no point.. maybe i'll jus play ard with dem fer alil more.. pretty bored tis daes.. jus fling ard.. when i'm down and over with it.. tinking it's enough of fun den jus fcuk both the bitch and bastard off.. lik i said.. guys to mie now are jerks.. damn bloody bastards.. i'm jus so sorry to sae all these and conclude it all as one.. but i'm gonna heck it.. it's all the same to mi.. both of dem are taking advantage of the good tat i'm giving dem.. all i gotta sae is.. i've my limits.. when i'm done with it.. i can't take it.. so sorry.. dun blame mi fer doing all thoes shit tat i would do to dem.. sae it as a bitch would do.. wadeva.. heck it!!! i'm not gonna bother wad the others sae... they jus dun noe anything.. i'm jus gonna fcuk dem off when i can't take it anymore.. play with mie and u'll die... try mi...

btrice has her own limits .. try her if u hav the guts


saw this somewhere.. found it pretty meaningful.. thus wanted to blog tis up... guys who see this, it's a reminder fer u.. rmb it and trying putting it in real life when it reali happens... the girls will feel touched and feel loved.. thus onli den will they feel beta..


They're Mad

They're Sad

They're Scared

They're Nervous

They're Frustrated

They're Missing someone

They're Alone

They're PMSing

They're Pregnant

Their Heart Is broken

They're in love

Their souls have been torn

They met a boy they cant have

They fell in love with a boy

They hurt so bad inside

BOYS!!!: If any girl you know is crying and yousee them, dont just stand there and say your sorry hold them and tell them everything will be ok, even if you have no idea what is wrong with them.Girls just want to be held and know that someone cares about them~ it'll be enough...

btrice darlin & beloved ema <3...


all these are taken on the 16th.. not jus todae.. it's just because i jus recieved all these pix todae.. thus onli todae den post.. this is onli part one of the pix.. the other part is still with meiyi.. the tym when mi, jaime and meiyi went out playing the whole dae.. den tonned over at meiyi's place.. yea.. so fun... omg.. anticipating the other part of the pix~ haaa.. went pool-ing... haa.. went with yao guang.. jiansheng.. ema.. meiyi.. went to bt timah.. damn cheap.. but i din pay.. wahaha.. nvm.. anywae.. went der den saw.. hui xian.. chee heng.. and hui xian's fren.. haa.. so qiao... anyway play the whole aftrn.. till ard 8 plus den left that place.. omg.. was so slippy man.. diao!! but happie coz got fun.. waahaha.. gonna stop here.. der's onli blank in my mind now.. wana slip.. damn tired.. got tuition ltr.. sian~ u guys shall continue with the pix den.......


our beloved shoes.. the blunt and the sharp front.. can see ema baby is veri soft on the guys but i'm hard on dem.. so how pointed my shoes are???

us when we were in the toilet.. wahaha~

meiyi in action.. wooohoo!!!

wad's yao guang looking at??? jian sheng serious in hitting the balls hard.. :)

does tis look lik mickey??? omg~

4e8 chicks.. playing pool aftr our veri last paper..

btrice and ema~ <3

btrice aiming hard on the "balls".. goal!!!!


baby ema doing the same... aim~




so so so sad.. can't post up the fotos tat we took on frii & sat... sadden.. all of them are with meiyi.. and her com is jammed.. gotta wait fer repair.. ma fan.. omg~ waiting fer her to get it done and send to mie so tat i can post dem up.. so long~~

tink i'm going no where beta .. not healing nor detoriating.. no way here and there... still on the same spot.. dunch noe why either.. in fact i lik tat song even more den ever.. it's his favourite song.. but i seem to lik it alot now.. why?? i duno eh.. funni.. omg!!! i'm reali going nuts wierd.. wadeva.. i dun bother.. it's mi now! living in tis kinda life.. it's mi.. nobody else...

my beloved b'dae me to euu teddie frm seng leong and edwin.. tis reminds mie of dem..


had my english paper 2 todae.. drastically bad... how 'em i gonna survive? i didn't have enough tym.. i couldn't finish up my summary.. omg~ tats bad.. it's the part tat i can score fer myself.. but.. sadden.. wth~ damn.. was taking paper.. den got stressed up when my flu got worst... and worst.. i didn't have tissue.. damn.. wad the!! stupid right.. den do do do.. my flu reali was terrible.. kept sneezing.. omg! how bad can it go.. was hoping any tchr would notice mi suffering and help mie get some tissues... BUT .. nvm all tchrs there are blind.. they nvr noticed and ms lee was staring at mie all the tym.. at least the tym when i was looking at her.. she was scary.. her eyes seem so tell mie i'll be in trouble.. oh god! thank goodness.. nothing happened... also duno why i'm so afraid.. wierd.. lik wad chris said abt mie.. i'm wierd these daes... not lik myself.. i agreee.. but.. wadeva.. jus take it as the process of mie recovering frm the past k... jus take it as tat...~ aftr paper.. abt 9+.. went HKE ate mac breakfast.. den went to JE to worch -when a stranger calls-... big promotion!!! it's a damn good movie... scared the hell outta mie though.. omg!! nicenice... but reali felt bad tat we din ask jaime along as she herself had to accompany fel to bugis.. nvm.. she can go worch it wit her other frens.. it's great man!!! -i'm so sorry darling fer not waiting fer u to worch the movie together .. sorrie~haa.. den we were bored aftr tat.. went over to Lot 1.. den walk walk walk... den saw AME.. so happie tat i met her.. din hav tym to mit her could onli talk to her at her taggie.. she looks fine to mie.. reali fine.. no red eye signs but she told mie they don't turn red but they onli hurt.. felt painful in the heart.. omg~ poor ame.. aftr tat we went to JE again.. but to chevrons .. wanted to play pool but 6 stupid idiotic fellas were facing tat pathetic 1 white ball + 2 pool sticks.. 6 of dem and they hogged on to the pool table fer abt 45 mins till we had our turn even b4 we came they were alrdy der.. omg.. sian.. n vm.. so we plae plae plae.. till abt 4+ started to drizzle.. so we hurry got on the bus den headed home.. i took 243 to get to my place.. so as not to get so dreched.. but still i got drenched all over... damn.. nvm.. my flu is goona get "beta" lik tat haaa.. omg~ it's alrite.. haa... so bored.. yea gonna go tonn over at meiyi's place tmr wit jaime... anticipating the fun we'll enjoy les-ing ard.. omg~..

btrice is happie todae!!!!


blogging rite now at jaime bb's hse... had maths paper 2 todae... sure die.. alot of qns duno how to do... although had tuition yst. still..duno wad to sae... dissapointed in myself.. history.. confirm flunk... whole hall fer those taking history, almost half of dem sae sure die.. so wad can i sae??anywae tink the sch can also jus take away history tchrs and the sub le ba... seh~ haa... jus went friendster check.. din expect him to reply my msg so soon.. suddenly i miss him reali much but dun hav hopes to want him back.. lik i said to her" tat dae...
i hav to tink well..
tink wad i want..
wad i nid..
how to do it...
how to conserve it...
all these are the foundations.. the news ones i've tot of fer mi when i decide to get into another relationship.. i'm happie with my life now.. i've said it mutiple times alrdy... but i'm still gonna sae it... i believe right now i dunch nid anyone new in my life.. i'm happie with my life nw.. reali..
i'm also happi tat we're on talking terms and stuff.. at least we don't fail as frens.. like we did as a couple.. happie~ it's a good start fer mi now.. i told him.. i'm slowly picking myself up back frm him.. and going back to wad i am.. i said it.. gonna fulfil or not is a difficult thing to sae... it's difficult.. i find it so.. dun tell mie i can do it fer the sake of being my fren.. i myself am alrdy uncertain thus i duno.. motivate mi but dun tell mie anything more.. i reali nid someone who can jus come forward and tell mie tat.. they do care and will be there.. jus tis sentence can push and motivate mie to stand on my own.. so far.. none.. my besties.. no.. disappointed.. they care but they dun sae... i feel but still words are sometyms.. more powerful?? at tyms i reali tink it is.. yah~ hummm.. feel worried.. more worried den any other tym.. worried abt?? i duno.. reali duno... i'm jus gonna be insane veri soon...

will btrice come bac so quickly?? forgetting the past???


i feel so worried fer ame-.. it's all freshkon's fault.. it made her eyes lik tat.. i'm reali worried.. no worries baby.. u'll be fine okai... i'll be praying fer u~ worried worried worried.. tis few daes i'm jus worrying abt tis worrying abt tat.. it reali seems lik i've nothing to do.. but besides worrying abt stuffs, i've been studying.. doing my damn bloody mye revision.. whether or not i'll do well it's not of much worry now.. at least i noe i did my best in doing my own revision..
duno why these few daes flashbacks of mi and my ex boo keep coming back to mie.. jus lik yst... i was doing revision at my place with meiyi.. den was writing down definitions of electricity-physics-, i suddenly rmbed abt the tym when i was with him at the chalet.. these flashbacks kip coming back.. it serves as memorys fer mie.. but sometyms come to tink abt it.. i reali feel veri down coz i've lost him.. he's gone.. nvr coming back to mie again.. he lives his life, i live mine.. miss the tym we had together.. miss everything we shared..
all these are pasts.. i now i've to face the present but it ain't gonna be easy.. like i said i nid tym.. lots and lots of tym... i nid someone to teach mi mani things.. teach mi how to pick up myself quickly aftr my fall.. how to make myself stay strong both on the outside and inside... mani mani things.. all these are making worries fer mie... u might tink the same way as how he did tat tym.. saying tat i onli tink fer the unnessesary.. i totally dunch agree.. i will onli think abt it as it holds a purpose.. u don't live in my live thus u don't noe.. onli if u live in my life and share the same heart or brain onli den will i hav nothing to sae.. tats how i feel... so don't tell mie things like.. u understand or u can feel how i feel.. sometyms it seems soothing and heart-warming but at tyms it reali sucks... reali... things jus doesn't seem to go on well tis few yrs..losing hope on my life alrdy... hope things will turn out well aftr my o's... reali hope...

will i find my new love again..???


030506 & 040506.. sian la tis two daes.. kana dua twice by the same person... reali duno if i shld get pissed over it.. duno if it's worth... damn it!!!! feel so cheated jus now.. everytime lik tat one la... as usual i'd sae.. up to you.. used to it already... sometimes jus feel lik not mitting him again lo.. sian la.. fcuk!!!! damn pissed jus now.. face lik kana smeared with charcoal lik tat.. damn moody jus now... forget it.. gonna go get new shoes ltr le.. haaa... happie happie.... anyway todae's eng paper 1 i'm alil worried abt my essay din end it properly.. damn worried now.. omg.. how??? no point thinking liao... den ss- aiya as usual.. wad can i sae??? but at least i'm proud of myself todae... i din sleep at all.. for both papers... omg!!!! tis is mi man... btrice!!!! haa..



finally.. my tag okai le.. tis few daes damn fcuking busy.. so din go update my blog.. sian la.. having tuition lik having marathon lik tat.. dotdot... -0-... wth!!! todae.. went jp wit fang den she wana buy pressie fer her 2nd month.. so we went there.. den she bought veri nice and sweet stuff lo.. den walk ard.. i spent ard.. 70 bucks liao lo!!!! xing tong-... bought my make up thingy.. den bought a jacket.. omg!!!! heart veri pain lo.. in one dae nia.. somemore in jp.. omg!!! haiyo.. pain pain...


- i wana avoid and reject certain things but sometimes it's easier said den done...-

Beatrice
18011990
eighteen
mailbox- beatrice_sham@hotmail.com

bitchy tym*

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